Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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