like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
