We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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