Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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