Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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