Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
