You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
