well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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