Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
