Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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