and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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