why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
