Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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