So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My pussy is not your playground.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
