the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
