Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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