You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
