his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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