I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
