I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
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