Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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