she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm like, not good at living.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize