once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
