Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
