I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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