best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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