I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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