I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he fucked my hip out of place.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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