I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
