Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
