she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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