we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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