Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
