you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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