Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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