i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
