You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
