that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
