i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
