didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
