How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
