My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
