He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
