I cannot find my penis.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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