My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize