I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
