I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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