If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
