somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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