I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Rumble strips road head = magical
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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