I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
