I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
