Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
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Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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