Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My balls are so social today.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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