I have demons in me.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
